Beyond Self-Care: When to Bring in Outside Support
Updated: Sep 1
You know you've been running on fumes. You wake up exhausted, and even though you plan for "maybe later" to take a break, something is always getting in the way. You've either forgotten to ask for outside support— or your pride has gotten in the way.
If that sounds familiar, you're not doing anything wrong. You're holding a lot — for the people you love, the work you do, and the responsibilities you carry. All that has a way of quietly using up everything you have.
You're snappy, and you can't seem to get out of a mental fog, or maybe you feel "stuck." All of these symptoms point to chronic stress or burnout. Your brain and your body are at capacity, and somehow there's never enough time in the day just for yourself. The rest never comes.
I know this territory well. My sister Joannie lived this for years. She cared for her husband through his illness, fought to get the right supports for her younger son at school, and watched the bills pile up. For years, her body started to show signs of a burnout breakdown. Crushing headaches, debilitating exhaustion, long-dormant viral flare-ups, and sick days piling up. The isolation of the COVID pandemic added to her stress, leaving her feeling "stuck" with no change in environment. Her body's alarm system kept sounding, and she didn't believe she had time to listen and was ashamed to ask for help.
Feeling like she had no other choice, my sister ended her life in November 2021.
This is a story about the ramifications of forgetting self-care — and about a question that went unanswered for too long: what resources are available, and who can I trust to help me? Recognizing that you need outside support isn't a failure or weakness. Knowing you need help is an early and important warning sign to notice — not just the headaches, the exhaustion, and the short temper.
I started EquaTerra Wellness because of what I've learned over the years: burnout goes deeper than "I need a spa day." Sometimes it looks like a person with nothing left to give and no framework for asking for help before it's too late. Often, shame gets in the way of taking that step. "EquaTerra" means "balanced earth" — I believe that by building protective practices that calm and steady us, we build the resilience to weather the periods of life when tough times seem never-ending.
This foundation draws from the Wheel of Health model I trained in through Duke Health. It is a whole-person framework that places you at the center, surrounded by the self-care dimensions that sustain you (movement, rest, relationships, environment, mind-body connection), and held, at the outermost ring, by community (the people and support network around you). When one of these areas goes quiet for too long (several did for my sister), it's often the first sign that burnout is setting in. Knowing what to notice when self-care isn't enough is the first step. Recognizing you're allowed to ask for support from your community is a strength.
That's what was missing for my sister: not willpower, but a foundation that included knowing when to ask for help and where to turn. Building that foundation is what I do — as a health and well-being coach and as a mind-body practitioner who believes the body knows things the mind hasn't caught up to yet. Whether I'm working one-on-one with someone rebuilding their capacity after burnout, or leading a group through nervous-system regulation as a shared skill, the goal is the same: build the practices (and the support network) BEFORE the storm hits, not after.
If any of this sounds like where you are right now, I'd be glad to talk. Group mindfulness and movement classes are a lower-stakes way to start, where you practice alongside others who "get it." Individual coaching goes deeper, building a plan specific to your life, where YOU get to tailor options to better manage your stress levels and build new habits that sustain you rather than drain you. Neither path asks you to overhaul your life overnight or judges you for how you got here — the work is about easing into change at a pace that feels possible, so that what grows isn't just a new routine, but a belief that you're capable of tending to yourself. Both are ways to rebuild your foundation.
If you're struggling right now, reaching out is not a last resort — it's part of the foundation. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 by call or text. A trusted friend, a support group, a therapist, a doctor, a coach — your community, in all its forms, is not separate from self-care. It's the support that sustains you.
Want to feel empowered by helping others? Join me on September 19, 2026, at 9:00 a.m. as I walk with NAMI to honor my sister - and every single person who deserves better mental health care support. Learn about or join my team, The Nawnees, and learn about the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
